300+ Cute, Funny, Cool Instagram Bios


Cute Instagram Bios



  • You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

  • If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever.

  • Sometimes I’m not angry, I’m hurt and there’s a big difference.

  • Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

  • Fabulous ends in “us” coincidence? I think not.

  • I want a cute, long relationship where everyone is like damn they’re still together?

  • Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.

  • My life with you is something that I would never trade, even for all of the riches under heaven.

  • All the blood, sweat, and tears will be worth it when I get to spend forever by your side.

  • It’s funny how people say they miss you, but don’t even make an effort to see you.

  • I’m not perfect. I’ll annoy you, make fun of you, say stupid things, but you’ll never find someone who loves you as much as I do.

  • You’ll know they’re special when no matter what kind of mood you’re in, they can always manage to make you smile.

  • To be brave is to love unconditionally without expecting anything in return.

  • Sometimes, it’s better to be alone… No one can hurt you.

  • If you dare, take my hand and take me to where your heart is. I want to feel what it’s like to love like you.

  • When you love me like that, I melt into honey. Let’s be sweet together.

  • The sweetest joy, the wildest woe is love.

  • Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?

  • The reason I like you is simple – love, laughter, and your smile.

  • There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.

  • Please don’t forget to smile.

  • Relationships these days start by pressing like on her photo.

  • Awesome ends with ME and Ugly starts with You.

  • Making the Snuggie look good since 2009.

  • I’d rather spend one moment holding you than a lifetime knowing I never could.

  • There is no other woman in the world like you. I am the luckiest man alive to be able to call you mine.

  • I’ve fallen in love many times always with you.





  • No matter what has happened. No matter what you’ve done. No matter what you will do. I will always love you. I swear it.

  • Just a cupcake looking for a stud muffin.

  • I don’t care how hard being together is, nothing is worse than being apart.

  • The most painful goodbyes are those which were never said and never explained.

  • I’ve realized that the Beatles got it wrong. Love isn’t all we need—love is all there is.

  • You’re still a little kitten that looks at my eyes, wanting love in this cold world.

  • I’ve been waiting hours and I’ll be waiting for hours more, till my love arrives and my heart’s fulfilled.

  • When you fall for someone’s personality, almost everything about them becomes handsome and beautiful.

  • Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

  • Before you, I never believed in forever. Now, I know that is not long enough to spend with you.

  • Can anything be more valuable than our love? Since you are with me, my only measurement is in heartbeats.

  • While heaven must surely mourn the loss of one of its own, we mere mortals celebrate your grace.

  • When I miss you it seems every song I listen to is about you.

  • An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.

  • Silence is the most powerful scream.

  • Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

  • Sometimes you never realize the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.

  • There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.

  • When I miss you I re-read our old conversations and smile like an idiot.

  • Every time I see you I fall in love all over again.

  • Everyone is beautiful in their own way because God makes no mistakes.

  • My silence/smile is just another word for my pain.

  • I don’t have much to give you. I’m not a rich man. What I can promise is that everything I do will be for you, always.

  • Without you in my life, I would be incomplete. I pray that I should never know such pain.

  • I love you with the breath, the smiles and the tears of all my life.

  • If you can’t get someone out of your head. Maybe, they are supposed to be there.

  • Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee. Coincidence? I think not.

  • If life is not smiling at you, give it a good tickling.

  • Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.

  • No matter how strong of a person you are, there’s always someone who can make you weak.

  • It hurts when you have someone in your heart but not in your arms.


Funny Instagram Bios




  • In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

  • Some people are alive only, because it’s illegal to kill them.

  • I shouldn’t be allowed to go on Snapchat, Facebook or Instagram when I’m drunk!

  • Whenever I have a problem, I just sing, then I realize my voice is worse than my problem.

  • I wonder what happens when the doctor’s wife eats an apple a day…

  • Where the hell am I, and how did I get here?

  • Are you a banker because I’d like you to leave me a loan.

  • Recommended by 4 out of 5 people that recommend things.

  • It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.

  • Here to serve…. the cat overlord.

  • Warning!!! I know KARATE and few other oriental words.

  • Have lots of hair and like ugly things.

  • Recovering ice cream addict.

  • If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

  • You’re a 10, on the pH scale… Cuz you’re basic.

  • I’m not smart. I just wear glasses.

  • I’m just having an allergic reaction to the universe.

  • I put the hot in psychotic.

  • Trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.

  • It’s very difficult to be great. Losers prove this point continuously.

  • Save water, drink beer.

  • 1f you c4n r34d 7h15, you r34lly n33d 2 g37 l41d.

  • Sometimes one middle finger isn’t enough to let someone know how you feel. That’s why you have two hands.

  • I will go into survival mode if tickled.

  • Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.

  • When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…

  • My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-Mart.

  • I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.





  • I only rap caucasionally.

  • Good Samaritan, washed-up athlete, especially gifted napper.

  • You’re right. I’m NOT perfect. But I’m unique!

  • A lie is just a great story ruined by truth.

  • Don’t get a woman, get a dog… They are loyal and they die sooner.

  • I talk like a baby and I never pay for drinks.

  • White lips, pale face, I hate the entire human race.

  • I’m so poor that I can’t pay attention in class.

  • I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle… He’s dreaming too.

  • Never judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. By that time, they’ll be a mile away and barefoot.

  • This is my last Instagram bio ever.

  • I prefer my puns intended.

  • I work for money, for loyalty hire a Dog.

  • I’m in desperate need of a 6 month vacation… Twice a year.

  • I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

  • The strawberry shampoo doesn’t taste as good as it smells.

  • Not all men are fools, some stay single.

  • If I could sum up my life in one line I would die of embarrassment.

  • Don’t hit kids!!! No, seriously, they have guns now.

  • The only reason I am fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.

  • Exercise, ex..er..cise, ex…ar..cise, eggs are sides, for BACON!

  • I was addicted to hokey pokey but I turned myself around.

  • I ran into my ex today… Put it in reverse and did it again!!!

  • A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

  • Currently starring in my own reality show titled, A Modern Cinderella; One Girl’s Search for Love and Shoe.

  • Camping is intents.

  • I still don’t understand Twitter, but here I am.

  • Save paper, don’t do homework.

  • Nice guys finish lunch.

  • My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

  • Born to express not to impress.

  • I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice.

  • Born at a very young age.

  • I still miss my ex – but guess what? My aim is getting better.

  • BAE: Bacon And Eggs.


Cool Instagram Bios 




  • Never try to teach a pig to sing- it wastes your time and annoys the pig.

  • Making history.

  • Eat…sleep….regret……repeat.

  • A man of mystery and power, whose power is exceeded only by his mystery.

  • Insert pretentious stuff about myself here.

  • I’m here to avoid friends on Facebook.

  • I will win, not immediately but definitely.

  • How we live our life is far more important than how we say we live our life.

  • Everybody wishes they could go to heaven but no one wants to die.

  • Chocolate doesn’t ask questions, chocolate understands.

  • Probably the best meat eater in the world.

  • Things just ain’t the same for gangstas.

  • My relationship status? Netflix, Oreos and sweatpants.

  • You’re too rad to be sad.

  • Silent people have the loudest minds.

  • Oh I’m sorry was my sass too much for you?

  • Just another paper cut survivor.

  • I only use Instagram to stalk…

  • I’m not glad it’s “Friday”, I’m glad it’s “Today”. Love your life – 7 days a week.

  • If I delete your number, you’re basically deleted from my life.

  • Why would I ever leave the house when there’s Netflix and ice cream waiting for me.

  • A Caffeine dependent life-form.

  • One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

  • I’ve always thought being popular on Instagram is as about as useless as being rich in monopoly.

  • Why look up at the stars when the biggest star is me.

  • A human. Being.

  • If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.

  • Please insert pretentious crap about myself here.

  • You will never have anything you don’t respect, including lot’s of money.

  • “F#%K It.” – my final thought before making most decisions.

  • Phones are better than girlfriends, at least we can switch them off.

  • Life is dumb and I want to sleep.

  • Never argue with an idiot they’ll drag you down to their level and beat you through experience.





  • The road to success is always under construction.

  • I haven’t been myself ever since I was born.

  • I do yoga sometimes, drink sometimes, party sometimes, and study rarely.

  • The only person on Instagram who doesn’t claim to be a social media guru.

  • I can’t remember who I stole my bio from or why.

  • Living vicariously through myself.

  • I have this new theory that human adolescence doesn’t end until your early thirties.

  • Some people need to open their small minds instead of their big mouths.

  • I’m real and I hope some of my followers are too.

  • If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together.

  • We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten die.

  • If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front.

  • Someday, there’s going to be an updated version of me.

  • You can’t fix stupid, no matter how much duct tape you use over their mouth!

  • Time is precious, waste it wisely.

  • I’m starting to like Instagram, which is weird because I hate pictures.

  • We live in a society were pizza gets to your house before police.

  • Hey, you are reading my bio again?!

  • God bless this hot mess.

  • Everybody is so happy… I hate that.

  • This isn’t rocket science, you take a photo of brunch and you hashtag #yolo #sundayfunday.

  • The best of me is yet to come.

  • You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.

  • I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I am joking.

  • A book-store is only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

  • I think it’s weird if a girl doesn’t have an Instagram now days.

  • Words cannot express my love & passion for Fridays!

  • Stay classy.

  • Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal my bio

  • Life is short… Smile while you still have teeth.


Instagram Bio Quotes




  • WANTING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE IS A WASTE OF WHO YOU ARE. – KURT COBAIN

  • IF YOU WANT YOUR CHILDREN TO TURN OUT WELL, SPEND TWICE AS MUCH TIME WITH THEM, AND HALF AS MUCH MONEY. – ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

  • STRIVE NOT TO BE A SUCCESS, BUT RATHER TO BE OF VALUE. – ALBERT EINSTEIN

  • WHENEVER YOU FIND YOURSELF ON THE SIDE OF THE MAJORITY, IT IS TIME TO PAUSE AND REFLECT. – MARK TWAIN

  • THIS ABOVE ALL: TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE. – WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

  • THE BEST TIME TO PLANT A TREE WAS 20 YEARS AGO. THE SECOND BEST TIME IS NOW. – CHINESE PROVERB

  • WHATEVER THE MIND OF MAN CAN CONCEIVE AND BELIEVE, IT CAN ACHIEVE. – NAPOLEON HILL

  • AN UNEXAMINED LIFE IS NOT WORTH LIVING. – SOCRATES

  • DO WHAT YOU FEEL IN YOUR HEART TO BE RIGHT, FOR YOU’LL BE CRITICIZED ANYWAY. – ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

  • THINK LIKE A QUEEN. A QUEEN IS NOT AFRAID TO FAIL. FAILURE IS ANOTHER STEPPING STONE TO GREATNESS. —OPRAH

  • WE CAN EASILY FORGIVE A CHILD WHO IS AFRAID OF THE DARK; THE REAL TRAGEDY OF LIFE IS WHEN MEN ARE AFRAID OF THE LIGHT. – PLATO

  • DO WHAT YOU CAN, WITH WHAT YOU HAVE, WHERE YOU ARE. – THEODORE ROOSEVELT

  • IF YOU WANT TO LIFT YOURSELF UP, LIFT UP SOMEONE ELSE. – BOOKER T. WASHINGTON

  • I WOULD RATHER DIE OF PASSION THAN OF BOREDOM. – VINCENT VAN GOGH

  • YOU MISS 100% OF THE SHOTS YOU DON’T TAKE. – WAYNE GRETZKY

  • NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT. —ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

  • ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU ARE BRAVER THAN YOU BELIEVE, STRONGER THAN YOU SEEM, AND SMARTER THAN YOU THINK. —CHRISTOPHER ROBIN

  • IN ORDER TO BE IRREPLACEABLE ONE MUST ALWAYS BE DIFFERENT. —COCO CHANEL

  • THE MIND IS EVERYTHING. WHAT YOU THINK YOU BECOME. – BUDDHA

  • WHY SHOULD I CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF ME? I AM WHO I AM. AND WHO I WANNA BE. —AVRIL LAVIGNE

  • TO BE YOURSELF IN A WORLD THAT IS CONSTANTLY TRYING TO MAKE YOU SOMETHING ELSE IS THE GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT. —RALPH WALDO EMERSON

  • DON’T BE SATISFIED WITH STORIES, HOW THINGS HAVE GONE WITH OTHERS. UNFOLD YOUR OWN MYTH. —RUMI

  • TO FIND YOURSELF, THINK FOR YOURSELF. – SOCRATES

  • THERE CAME A TIME WHEN THE RISK TO REMAIN TIGHT IN THE BUD WAS MORE PAINFUL THAN THE RISK IT TOOK TO BLOSSOM. – ANAÏS NIN

  • LIFE IS 10% WHAT HAPPENS TO ME AND 90% OF HOW I REACT TO IT. – CHARLES SWINDOLL

  • CHALLENGES ARE WHAT MAKE LIFE INTERESTING AND OVERCOMING THEM IS WHAT MAKES LIFE MEANINGFUL. – JOSHUA J. MARINE

  • IF IT’S A MILLION TO ONE SHOT, I’LL MAKE SURE I’M ONE.

  • YOU WOULDN’T WORRY SO MUCH ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU IF YOU REALIZED HOW SELDOM THEY DO. —ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

  • EVERY STRIKE BRINGS ME CLOSER TO THE NEXT HOME RUN. – BABE RUTH





  • I’VE FINALLY STOPPED RUNNING AWAY FROM MYSELF. WHO ELSE IS THERE BETTER TO BE? —GOLDIE HAWN

  • GO CONFIDENTLY IN THE DIRECTION OF YOUR DREAMS AND LIVE THE LIFE YOU HAVE IMAGINED. —HENRY DAVID THOREAU

  • WITH CONFIDENCE, YOU HAVE WON BEFORE YOU HAVE STARTED. —MARCUS GARVEY

  • EVERYTHING HAS BEAUTY, BUT NOT EVERYONE CAN SEE. – CONFUCIUS

  • LIFE ISN’T ABOUT GETTING AND HAVING, IT’S ABOUT GIVING AND BEING. – KEVIN KRUSE

  • IN ORDER TO SUCCEED, YOUR DESIRE FOR SUCCESS SHOULD BE GREATER THAN YOUR FEAR OF FAILURE. – BILL COSBY

  • WHAT COULD WE ACCOMPLISH IF WE KNEW WE COULD NOT FAIL? —ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

  • YOU TAKE YOUR LIFE IN YOUR OWN HANDS, AND WHAT HAPPENS? A TERRIBLE THING, NO ONE TO BLAME. – ERICA JONG

  • IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN. – GEORGE ELIOT

  • BUILD YOUR OWN DREAMS, OR SOMEONE ELSE WILL HIRE YOU TO BUILD THEIRS. – FARRAH GRAY

  • REMEMBER TO ALWAYS BE YOURSELF. UNLESS YOU SUCK. – JOSS WHEDON

  • WHETHER YOU THINK YOU CAN OR YOU THINK YOU CAN’T, YOU’RE RIGHT. – HENRY FORD

  • WINNING ISN’T EVERYTHING, BUT WANTING TO WIN IS. – VINCE LOMBARDI

  • TOO MANY OF US ARE NOT LIVING OUR DREAMS BECAUSE WE ARE LIVING OUR FEARS. – LES BROWN

  • DON’T LOOK FOR SOCIETY TO GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO BE YOURSELF. – STEVE MARABOLI

  • THE BEST REVENGE IS MASSIVE SUCCESS. – FRANK SINATRA

  • BETTER TO WRITE FOR YOURSELF AND HAVE NO PUBLIC, THAN TO WRITE FOR THE PUBLIC AND HAVE NO SELF. – CYRIL CONNOLLY

  • EDUCATION COSTS MONEY. BUT THEN SO DOES IGNORANCE. – SIR CLAUS MOSER

  • I DIDN’T FAIL THE TEST. I JUST FOUND 100 WAYS TO DO IT WRONG. – BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

  • EVERY CHILD IS AN ARTIST. THE PROBLEM IS HOW TO REMAIN AN ARTIST ONCE HE GROWS UP. – PABLO PICASSO

  • TO LOVE ONESELF IS THE BEGINNING OF A LIFE-LONG ROMANCE. —OSCAR WILDE

  • EVERYTHING YOU’VE EVER WANTED IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF FEAR. – GEORGE ADDAIR

  • BE YOURSELF; EVERYONE ELSE IS ALREADY TAKEN. – OSCAR WILDE

  • LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU WHILE YOU’RE BUSY MAKING OTHER PLANS. – JOHN LENNON

  • TO ANYONE THAT EVER TOLD YOU YOU’RE NO GOOD… THEY’RE NO BETTER. —HAYLEY WILLIAMS

  • THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT DAYS IN YOUR LIFE ARE THE DAY YOU ARE BORN AND THE DAY YOU FIND OUT WHY. – MARK TWAIN

  • YOUR TIME IS LIMITED, SO DON’T WASTE IT LIVING SOMEONE ELSE’S LIFE. – STEVE JOBS

  • LIFE IS NOT MEASURED BY THE NUMBER OF BREATHS WE TAKE, BUT BY THE MOMENTS THAT TAKE OUR BREATH AWAY. – MAYA ANGELOU

  • WHERE’S YOUR WILL TO BE WEIRD? – JIM MORRISON

  • START WHERE YOU ARE. USE WHAT YOU HAVE. DO WHAT YOU CAN. – ARTHUR ASHE

  • YOU BECOME WHAT YOU BELIEVE. – OPRAH WINFREY

  • EITHER YOU RUN THE DAY, OR THE DAY RUNS YOU. – JIM ROHN






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