Latest Facebook Status 2017, Best Facebook Status

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1. I don’t wake up every day to impress you.

2. The only reason I’m fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.

3. God is really creative, I mean… just look at me.

4. When I drink alcohol… Everyone says I’m alcoholic. But… When I drink Fanta.. No one says I’m fantastic.

5. Sometimes all you need is love. Lol, just kidding, you need Money ðŸ™‚

6. Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.

7. I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.

8. I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

9. When you’re good, you’re good, when you’re awesome you’re me.

10. I’m jealous of my parents, i`ll never have a kid as cool as theirs.

11. When life puts you in tough situations, don’t say, why me? Just say, try me!

12. Born to express not to impress B

13. It’s cute when your crush’s crush is you.

14. You can never buy love… but still you have to pay for it.

15. I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode ðŸ˜€

16. Not always ‘Available’ try your luck!

17. My ‘last seen at’ was just to check your ‘last seen at’

18. Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal my status :p

19. When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

20. I believe there should be a better way to start each day… instead of waking up every morning.

21. Can I take your picture? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.

22. The only reason god made cousins so that parents can compare our marks.

13. When life gets tough, remember: You were the strongest sperm.

14. I don’t always lose my phone but when I do its always on silent.

15. The funniest thing in class is when the teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.

16. When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up, it’s like having a kidnapper tell you to keep in touch.

17. AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.

18. There’s always that one person, who takes a few minutes to get the joke.

19. We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people.

20. ETC – End of Thinking Capacity.

21. I have 2-3 real friends, the rest are just people I socialize with.

22. Marriage is a “workshop”, Where husband ‘works’ and wife ‘shops’.

23. I need Six months of vacation, Twice a year.

24. Time is precious, waste it wisely.

25. Life is Short – Chat Fast!

26. Totally available! Please disturb me!

27. You can never buy Love….But still you have to pay for it.

28. I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.

29. Hey there whatsapp is using me.

30. Not always “Available” Try your Luck…

31. I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!… He’s dreaming too ðŸ˜†

32. Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with Windows!

33. I may not be perfect, but I’m the best you’ll ever have… you’ll realize it the day i stop coming back!

34. You either live in love or die, there is no way in between!

35. I am single because god is busy writing to best love story for me ðŸ˜†

36. The space between your fingers are meant to be filled with mine…

37. My one hand is enough to fight against the world… If you hold the other one.

38. Only Love takes you to heaven without the dying part.

39. There are three sides to an argument – your side, my side and the right side.

40. Sometimes you succeed… and other times you learn.

41. I’m not online, it’s just an optical illusion.

42. In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

43. When inspiration doesn’t come to me, I go halfway to meet it.

44. How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone ðŸ˜†

45. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

46. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

47. Parachute for Sale! used once, never opened…

48. The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.

49. Never test how deep the water is with both feet ðŸ˜†

50. Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn’t contain any calories.

51. If you don’t succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.

52. Not all men are fools, Some stay bachelor ðŸ˜‰

53. Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not ðŸ˜‚

54. His story is history, my story is mystery.

55. Phones are better than girlfriends, At least we can switch off!

56. The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

57. I don’t have dirty mind, I have sexy imagination.

58. If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.

59. Silent people have the loudest minds.

60. The road to success is always under construction.

61. I will win, not immediately but definitely.

62. Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.

63. Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose. The longer the title the less important the job.

64. The longer the title the less important the job.

65. Good girls are bad girls that never get caught. No, I’m not feeling violent, I’m feeling creative with weapons.

66. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

67. If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

68. The real reason women live longer than men because they don’t have to live with women.

69. I may be fat, but you’re ugly – I can lose weight!

70. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right ðŸ˜€

71. People who tolerate me on the daily basis! are real heroes in my eye.

72. Before you judge me make sure that you’re perfect.

73. Style is a reflection of your attitude and personality.

74. What people say to your face is not a problem. The problem is what they say behind your back.

75. People with high ego and unnecessary attitude deserves the standing ovation of the tallest finger…

76.
Dear Teacher,
I talk to everyone, so moving my seat won’t help.
Sincerely, Student!

77. I am who i am, you approval is not needed.

78. I am not perfect but I am limited Edition.

79. Silence is the best answer to a FOOL.

80. My attitude is based on how you treat me.

81. Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else.

82. My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my BED.

83. I am multi talented, I can talk and piss you off at the same time.

84. I tried being like you, my personality didn’t like it.

85. Excellence is not a skill, It is an attitude.

86. If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

87. I know I am awesome, so I don’t care about your opinion.

88. If a plan didn’t work, Alphabet has 25 more letters.

89. I was reminded that my blood type is be Positive.

90. When i was born, i was so surprised, I didn’t talk for a year and half.

91. I want my Girlfriend like Google, She will understand me better.

92. Every problem comes with solution, but my GF don’t have.

93. I wish my parents were like Google. They should understand me even before I complete.

94. People say me bad. But trust me I am the worst!

95. I don’t need to explain myself because, I know I’m right.

96. ‘Dream’ as if you’ll live forever. Live as if tomorrow is last one…

97. I don’t care what people think or say about me!

98. I am learn from my mistakes! without mistakes we can’t learn.

99. There are two type of people winner and Losser, winner always working hard, losser always try to shortcut for win.

100. Try to solve your problem yourself… Don’t Depend on other!

101. Every people is a intelligent, when he work hard!

102. If people are trying to bring you ‘down’ It only means that you are ‘above them’.

103. I’m cool but Summer made me hot!

104. Life is too short Don’t waste it updating status every hours.

105. Work until you don’t have to, introduce yourself.

106. People are like ‘Music’ some say the ‘Truth’ and rest, just noise…

107. I wish I had ‘Google’ in my mind and ‘Antivirus’ in my heart…

108. There comes a point in life, when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will…

109. Sometimes you need to maintain a distance to keep them close to you.

110. When you care about someone, their happiness matters more than yours!

111. Good thing is listening a new song is that it doesn’t remind you of anyone…

112. Your looks don’t make you Beautiful, it’s the person inside who makes you beautiful…

113. Someone asked me How is your life? I just smiled and replied, She is fine…

114. My attitude based on how you treat me.

115. Best way to deal with haters, Keep calm, and stay classy…

116. My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.

117. I’d rather have honest enemies than fake friends.

118. Scratch here ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal my status ðŸ˜€

119. I believe there should be a better way to start each day… instead of waking up every morning.

120. I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!… He’s dreaming too.

121. Sometimes you succeed… and other times you learn.

122. When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it.

123. How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone.

124. Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.

125. I love my job only when I’m on vacation

126. Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.

127. Phones are better than girlfriends, At least we can switch off.

128. His story is History, My Story is Mystery.

129. Not all men are fools, Some stay bachelor.

130. Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack of opportunity.

131. Save water drink beer.

132. When everything comes your way.. Then you are on the wrong way.

133. 80% of boys have girlfriends.. Rest 20% are having brain.

134. People say, you can’t live without love…I think oxygen is more important.

135. I talk to myself because i like dealing with a better class of people.

136. I am not virgin, My life fucks me everyday.

137. Warning! I know KARATE… And few other oriental words.

138. I am so poor that I can’t pay attention in class.

139. I love to walk in fog, Because nobody knows I am smoking.

140. If you can’t convince them, Confuse them.

141. When nothing goes right! Go left.

142. If you are gonna be two-faced, Honey at least make one of them pretty!

143. I am always right, Once I thought that I am wrong, But I was wrong.

144. I work for money, for loyalty hire a dog.

145. When I was born… Devil said, “Oh Shit…! Competition”.

146. I am not failed……My success is just postponed.

147. Some people are alive only, because it’s illegal to kill them.

148. Mistakes are proof that you are trying.

149. Be a good person, but don’t try to prove.

150. Nothing in the world is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.

151. Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.

152. Whenever i think of quit smoking, I need a cigarette to think.

153. I don’t have dirty mind, I have Sexy imagination.

154. If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.

155. Silent people have the loudest minds.

156. Born to express not to impress.

157. The road to success is always under construction.

158. I will win, not immediately but definitely.

159. Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.

160. Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

161. The longer the title the less important the job.

162. Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

163. No, I’m not feeling violent, I’m feeling creative with weapons.

164. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

165. If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

166. The real reason women live longer than men because they don’t have to live with women.

167. Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

168. I may be fat, but you’re ugly – I can lose weight!

169. We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

170. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

171. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

172. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

173. Our generation doesn’t knock on doors. We will call or text to let you know we’re outside.

174. Don’t steal. That’s the government’s job.

175. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

176. If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.

177. Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?

178. If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

179. I’m not changed it’s just I grew up and you should try too.

180. I never insult people I only tell them what they are.

181. If you think I am BAD than you’re wrong, I’m the worst.

182. The biggest slap to your enemies is your success.

183. I’m sorry my fault. I forgot you’re an Idiot.

184. I always arrive late at office but I make it by leaving early.

185. I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own FONT.

Hopes You All Will Like Our Latest Facebook Status Collection of 2017, Comment Below!!

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